I never really thought about it until I found myself knocked up at age 19. I was terrified and in no way prepared to go through a pregnancy and a birth. I knew that I’d never be able to choose adoption, since I have a curiosity problem and that would have haunted me for the rest of my life. I knew I had to have an abortion. I am so, so, SO LUCKY that choice was available to me.
I had a plan, you see. I was fanatical about birth control because I was going to finish college, get a Master’s and go take over the world. A baby didn’t factor into that at all, so I was irritatingly insistent about condoms as well as being on the pill. Turns out, I was in that 0.01% where accidents happen. Condoms break, and the pill isn’t 100%. I beat those odds, but it was the wrong lottery.
Oddly enough, I remember so very little about the whole thing. I know my boyfriend and my best friend drove me there. I remember having to go in on 2 days but I don’t remember why. 24-hour waiting period, perhaps. I honestly don’t remember. I do know that between the two of us, we couldn’t scrape up enough money to put me completely under, so I had the more local anesthetic instead of general. I do remember the actual D&C part of the process.
But I don’t remember the three weeks following. I’m sure I got up and went to class and work and acted reasonably normal, but I have zero recollection of nearly a month of my life. I chalk that up to being part of the process, I think.
But I had the abortion. It was the best decision for me, and nearly 20 years later, I stand by that and I stand firmly in the camp of people who believe that ALL WOMEN should have that option available to them. ALL OF US. We deserve that. Pregnancy and birth cause so many changes in a woman’s body and life – it’s not something any woman should be forced to do. Bringing a child into this fucked-up world should be something that a woman really WANTS to do. Because it’s not easy and it only gets tougher as you go. If a woman is doing it reluctantly, everyone is screwed.