Because abortion helped me escape

I can remember the exact moment…the EXACT moment I became pro-choice.

I was 15 and a freshman in high school. I lived in a shitty town in Missouri.  It was a stereotype of a shitty small town driven mostly by high school football and a factory—need a better picture? Well…think Steubenville. High school athletes were gods. Women, girls, really, fell at their feet. And yet they always wanted the handful of us who had no interest.

I had no interest.

I didn’t really go to parties, I had a small group of good friends and we would mostly watch movies or go to the diner and eat a bunch of desserts on a Friday night. But, as the cliché seems to go…one night I went to a party.  I don’t have many details from that night. I don’t know if I was just an inexperienced drinker or if there was something more but I can remember his foul breath on my face as he hurt me. I remember waking up at 4am on an unfamiliar floor in an unfamiliar basement surrounded by other girls, used up.

I guess I put it out of my memory, because I bounced back quickly. And then I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I wanted to get the hell out of Missouri—I had big dreams of going to NYU—I was already working on my admission essay. I could not have a baby. I could not grow up as a waitress at that damn diner and watch my future maybe-son play football and worry about what his nights involved.

My parents were nice people and I know they wouldn’t have thrown me out or anything but I also don’t think they would’ve supported the choice that was clear to me. It was already may….I’m not really sure how the scheme occurred to me but I applied to some summer program for high schoolers in Chicago and I got in. My parents were so proud.

I went to the clinic with my older cousin. It hurt. But it also felt good to have options for my future again. Two years later I got to escape Missouri. I’ve never really told anyone about this before.

[Submitted from San Jose, California]


2 thoughts on “Because abortion helped me escape

  1. Thank you for being brave enough to share that with us. Unfortunately that happens all too often. This is one of many reasons why abortion needs to remain safe and legal. We do not need to victimize victims even further by eliminating options.

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